Getting stronger and Weak at the same time is hard!

So it's been almost 4 months since I've been "single" and I must say I still have my day's where I wonder "what if?" .... What if I wouldn't have ended it where would I be right now?! or What if I never found out he cheated on me, would I still be with him? or What if we got married? or What if we had kids?

I get in these moods where it hurts so bad, because I know a part of me will ALWAYS love him. But I know I'm better off without him no matter what! There's someone out there who deserves me just like there's a pice of shit white trash skanky whore who deserves him! I just guess it's back to the whole I'm tired of having to wait ... It gets old real fast! Why can't my "Prince charming" come knocking on my door, my heart is getting very lonely and it hurts!