So I decided to take a look at what my love horoscope says for the 14th....
"You haven't tortured yourself over that one particular ex in a while, but right now it's weighing heavily on your heart. Don't let it affect your emotional growth -- write them a letter, then burn (or delete) it. Now is the time to say good-bye."
Seriously, Valentines day is the effing stupidest holiday there is!! Hands down!
I'm tired of seeing the flower commercials on tv! It gives false hope that there's a secret admirer out there for everyone! ha it makes me laugh! It's the first "Vday" I've been single in 3 years and well I just don't know how to take it exactly! Should I watch romantic comidies and cry and let it all out or should I watch horror movies and let the anger build up inside me even more!
It's funny when you sit and actually think about the past! Let's see the first Valentines day I had with the man (or should I say boy) wanted to spend forever with was the best any girl could ask for. The works flowers, candy, a huge "I love you" teddy bear and well Love, lots of sweet wonderful lovee. The next year well that's when it all went down hill, from the getting accused everyday of cheating to moving in and out every other weekend. You'd think it would all stop for Valentines day, well it didn't it just got worse. That's when the realy abuse started! and why oh why did I stay with an abusive(mentally and physically) alcoholic asshole! Oh yea because I "loved" him or thought I did! Yea real shocker when he cheated on me right after our 2 year anniversary, so I should have been the one accusing!
So I've given my heart to a "boy" who took it, stabbed it with a knife, and broke it into a million pieces. and decided to give it back to me in a box full of old memories!
Will I ever truly be ever to love again? With relationships you need trust and the one person I trusted my most prized possesion(my heart) with did the worst possible thing you could do and that's loose the trust! I know I have issues but because one stupid boy fucked up the trust I gave him I don't know if I can ever really, fully give my heart to someone ever again!
I just fill sorry for the next guy that want's to attempt to "love" me he's going to have one hell of a time trying to put my heart back together! =(
No comments:
Post a Comment